depressed. =[

i felt irritated tired n hugry these few days.no ans to that. i just wan to shut myself up from the surroundings. always telling myself to calm down n relax. i felt so lost. alone. living in fear n darkness. there's no more light shinning on me not like before. sometimes i faked the smiles to please u guys. sorry for lying. things r not under my control. things r not goin my way. irritated by annoying ppl. why is there so much for u guys to gossip abt? atmosphere in the class r always bad. some ppl shld not haf enter the class but they did. test n homework r stressing me up but not as much as the emotional stress. broke down yesterday.went to find the hug tat i m familiar wif. that i felt comfortable. that i know i can just cry anytime i wan. thanks sam! u r always there for me. days have been becoming worse. not too sure why. i just realised that everything just disappeared. those tat i love, those that i miss a lot, those that i can't live without, those that enlighten my day, those care n concerns. they r leaving me. i dun wan this to happen but changes appear every now n then. i can't control them. i'm all alone once again. i stoned there.i wanted to cry for help.i wanted to escape from it.i wanted to run away to a far away place or back to the place that i once knew. i just dunno wat i'm supposed to do or how shld i do it.
i miss the days n place that i can joke a lot, laughed until like a crazy girl, tease ppl, bein spastic. the game is over. i've loss it. nobody can help me.nobody is goin to help me. life is just so miserable.hiding away from those things that i dun wan to or dunno how to face. troubles r always at knocking my door.i dunno how to ans it. i'm just like a tortise hiding in it's shell.shethering from the rain n sun.
feeling depressed.i can't help it. some things that i wan, i can't get them.
if onli one day i'm away from the troubles the worries. i shall just shut the door n stay by myslef.trying how to adapt but to no avail. everything seems so difficult. everyone seems so cruel. so cold blooded. why u can treat me like this without feeling anything in ur heart. hais.....things have changed since a long time ago. i was still dreaming in my fairyland. i wished i was still stuck there n nv ever wake up.at least i wun feel hurt n depressed. i will be as happy as i could be.