enjoying? or already CMI?

Week 2 of my poly life.

who says poly is slack?
i can feel the stress already.
yup, it's only the 2nd week.
perhaps, it's my high expectations of myself too.
cause i dont want my parents to waste so much money on me.
i must do well so that i wont let them or myself down.
but it's true that if you dont have the passion for something, you cant really do your best.
wanted to join quite a few CCAs to get many CCA points and for my own interest but suddenly the thought hit upon me.
"it's not as simple as before"
i cant just do what i like now but i've to think of the many many things like, do i have the time?
do i have that energy?
can i cope with my studies?
how late is it when i reach home?
enough time to do my tutorials or revise?
like i did mention before. i've not been sleeping well lately.
and until the 3rd week, i managed to go to sleep when i get on my bed but i would wake up a few times before the alarm clock rings.so it means that i still have a problem to get to sleep which leads to my low energy level or enthusiasm for things.
how am i supposed to enjoy my CCA or any other stuffs?

we've these modules:
1.business communication-presentations and oral
2.microeconomics-quantity demanded, income effect,substitution effect,opportunity cost
3.business statistics-graps,charts,mean,median,mode, qualitative and quantitative variables
4.introduction to financial accounting-financial position, comprehensive income, assets, liabilities,owner's equity
5.creativity and applied thinking skills-think out of the box, field trip to s'pore history museum&daiso, SCAMPER
6. IT Business-computers,technology,internet, problem-based learning...
7. Spots and wellness-just like PE but you're supposed to choose 1 sport and learn the fundamentals (i wanted tennis but went there too late so i chose basketball and currently i'm so lousy in it)
see so many things.
all the lectures,tutorials,workshops,group work and presentation making me out of breath.
going home late, reach home so tired, cant concentrate in anything.
that's why i pushed everything to be done over the weekends.
and i'm supposed to be in the NP primers camp now but i din go cause i'm afraid i've no time to complete my work.
and this will lead me to no chance to help out in this year NDP.
they told me that if only i go for this camp den i could go for NDPo9 but hais, i just gave up the chance cox i need to study.
ppl will say, but you r only in poly year 1 why so chiong?
maybe my reply would be, cause i dont want to regret again?
ohya, i went to help out in the blood donation on wed while waiting for ks dinie and jinzhi to end lesson and i've got a free shirt.
there's upcoming FA duty on sat at ECP for the cycling club orientation.
e criteria is you need to be a certified first aider and know how to cycle.
haha.my FA cert will be expired next year. but now, i really dont have faith in myself to treat any casualty.
besides that, i heard that there's another event on the same day.
hais.my poly life is all abt choices and sacrifices.

so currently, i'm in Rchn, photography, maybe primers (i've not attend any of their activities yet) and still considering floorball cause i want to have a sport cca but i scared i've not enough time for it and the expenses.
talking abt expenses, for this week, i've already spent almost $100 for the textbooks and photography tee. i felt so guilty to get money from my mum.

met with some unpleasant things on my 2nd week already.
but i noe it's part and parcel of life la.
had been complaining to some ppl.thanks for listening to my naggings.haha

i've turned crazy on tues due to unhappiness and probably boredom or stress.and the guys were not used to it.but i told them just let me be la cox it's once in a blue moon thing.since when you will see edna neo so irritating and noisy.

ohya, ks and i won 2 movie tickets each for a lucky draw for the dance4fund thing last thurs.
so cool right.
we're one of the 50 lucky winners out of hundreds of ppl.

jinzhi is so blur la.
i bought a mini cake for him on his birthday and the 3 of us meet first before going to our usual meeting place in the morning.it was a rainy day and we were sneaking around initially and went right behind him to light the candle cause we scared if we light too early, the wind will blow it off and he din even notice despite having the sound of the lighter.and then we went surprise...
and he slowly turned his head without any reaction.ks was like wa you good la......not surprise at all.we had our own fun and entertainment although he was not at all surprised.but he did thank us la.

this post quite long ya.
just wish to update you all of my current life now.
hope to see you all soon.
i miss you ppl!

hey, forgot to mention this.
I"M STILL ANNOYED AND FRUSTRATED THAT I CANT ATTEND POP.
and it's like our test week la.ARGH!!!
although they say will video it down,take photos and so on but can all these compared to being right there, giving them my support and to see those we've groomed, taking over and the sec4s stepping down with pride and without any regrets.
nvm, we'll see how when it comes.