my soulmate.

Can someone tell me why is it so difficult to have an enjoyable off day? Time and time again, be it weekends or off day, it will just end up this way. Not the way I want or expect it to be. Maybe some will say that I've to be positive but the fact is that I jus can't cause the disappointments just keep coming till I'm really really annoyed by it! 

Keeping silent for 8 hours and crying for numerous times in a shopping mall was not what I wanted too. I just feel that we are really drifting... Further and further away...

Why is it that whenever I put in the effort at the beginning but you just don't? Why is it that it's only when I'm really tired of it and decided to stop trying then you begin to put in the effort to make up for things? Is this how it suppose to be?

Perhaps I really don't deserve it.