The purpose?

Firstly, somehting that i felt like saying after reading qj's blog is that i'm always very glad and thankful for his posts (of course for those that are somehow related to me la; such as about NDP and our gatherings).

Why?
becasue i'm always impressed by how he describes the details and how he conveyes how he felt, his emotions to us. And that was exactly how i felt too. His posts will always give me a feeling that i'm not alone. I'm not the only one who feels like this. I'm not the only one who cares about it. I can always believe that there is at least someone who shared the same views as me.
I think i've mentioned this in one of my entries before but there is always this urge to post after reading his blog.
I'm glad that he always give a vivid description of the event (at least better than me) so that otheres will know what had happened and so on cause nowadays i always summarize my stuffs to make it short or i just run out of words.

I realised that i've lost the motivation to go back.
cause i've lost the purpose.
i've lost the meaning of doing some things.
i no longer enjoy doing them.
To summarise, I've lost my goals.
it's really terrible.

I realised that we are no longer visible in each others' lives.
what's the purpose of forcing.
i seriously hope things will be better.

i know that my posts/entries for the past few months were quite negative. Perhaps there's not much happy stuffs for me to blog here. Or maybe it's not so significant thus i didn't mention about it.

I remembered telling a few of my cadets that what's important is the passion you have for the CCA cause with it, nothing is impossible. It'll overcome all the obstacles that you meet and also overcome the fear that you've. And yesterday, i heard this familiar thing during the interview they had with the taekwando coach regarding YOG.
Sometimes, when you've stopped saying something for a period of time you might just forget about it or maybe it's hidden somewhere whereby you need to search it back.
i'm trying to find back that motivation. so wish me luck.
i really don't want to lose the purpose of my life.
so i wish that i could find it back asap.

sorry for such an incoherent post.