It's damn depressing. Left my alma mater with a heavy heart today. Maybe I thought I would never ever go through this kind of experience again or won't be so affected ever again as I felt rather detached from the unit now. But I was wrong. It happened again. It has really been a long time since I felt that way.
Agitated, disappointed and losing the sense of security and hope.
Why are you so selfish?
Why do you let my NCOs suffer?
Don't they deserve a last, final glorious parade?
Why must we all sacrifice for you all the time?
Is it worth it?
Do you even spare a thought for us?
Are you even determined to change? If you are, your reply won't be you will change on the day of the parade (after you take over?) but you will change immediately, NOW!
We are all so worried for the future of the unit.
Can you let my NCOs step down without any regrets and not keep worrying for you?
We don't want all our hard work, many years of hard work, just vanished and be wasted just because of you.
Stop being so irresponsible and selfish.
Your cadets would be your everything, your top priority; the unit would be what you are going to serve for after you take over. Bear that in mind. It's not going to be you, you and always you yourself. Stop blaming others but reflect on yourselves.
Have you ever thought about why we keep nagging and scolding you?
It's not because we have anything against you or hated you.
It's cause we want you to be better, cause we care for you.
The main thing lies with your attitude. Are you willing to change? We are more than willing to help but you must help yourself first before we can help you.
By helping you, it doesn't mean that you rely on us for everything. We are there to advise but not spoon feed you with all the solutions. Learn how to be independent! Who are you going to rely on after this Saturday? Have you thought of that before?
Do you even know that I'm contemplating on getting a flexible hours job (part time) or an office hours job (which is more related to my future/the things that I'm studying) just because of you. Obviously if I get an office hours job I won't be able to come back for trainings and etc and that's why I am still unemployed now as I want to focus more on RCY and what more, my cadets, my unit. I'm always stucked between all these decisions because of you, because of the unit. First was getting into a Poly or JC. Apart from other reasons, one of the reason to get into a Poly is because I would be able to come down for almost all trainings and don't have to go on a study break when I'm in J2 for A-levels. The decisions are tough. One is to follow my heart and one is for my future and you will know which one I would eventually choose.
I don't actually need you all to make big sacrifices like that but just to let you know that the sole reason is because I still care. If you care and have the passion, you will give your all to improve the situation now.
Don't take all the little little things/work that you all do now as chores but as learning experiences. Take every opportunity to learn and never stop learning. You all are really fortunate these days to be able to go for UIP, ULP and etc. I don't even have all these or a chance to experience these when I was a cadet and I can only start learning and gaining experience only now. Trust me, you will be so satisfied when you look back at all the achievements made and all the experiences you have gained when you step down next year. And to do it together as a batch, leaving nobody behind would really be an awesome journey! One man show is never easy and it'll definitely be damn lonely too.
Another thing you might not know is that there are a few VIs who asked me to join the unit that they are serving now as they need more VIs or female VIs. The reason that I took so long to consider is because I'm not sure whether I would be able to commit to both units and put in my all for both units. I don't want to do slip short work and find myself not putting equal amount of effort for both units. That would be the reason why I would reject the offer if not I would readily accept it cause I don't mind helping as many units as I can and also units that would appreciate my help.
I promise I would try my best to guide you and continue to serve the unit until I think the time is right to let go or till the day i hear you saying that "Ma'am, we don't need your help anymore." If not I will definitely continue to hang in there and keep staying on.
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