A roller coaster ride

Spent some time blog hopping just now. Actually wanted to go sleep straight after that but suddenly have the urge to blog to organize my thoughts.

First of all, my little froggies finally had their POP last Saturday (4th Feb 2012). Yay! It's 70 days of hard work and they have finally achieved what they desired which is to become a VI to change for the best to change others. Welcome to the VI family, our 44 new Volunteer Instructors! 

I'm so proud of you people, VIP 13/12 CHARLIE - DARE AND BELIEVE!

Seriously speaking, I didn't regret joining VIP 13/12 as a mentor no matter how busy or crazy life can be over the past few months. Seeing each and every one of them change for the better is the best gift that I could ever wish for. Though we may not be the most outstanding group or the biggest group in VIP, we definitely have our own unique personality as a group. However, at some point of time i would wonder if I paid too much attention to them. Should I just let go and let them venture on their own since VIP is over already. Am I expecting too much from them?
Yes, I would want our group to be as bonded as we can be.
Yes, I still want to stay in contact with each and every one of you.
Yes, I still want you people to treat me as your mentor even though VIP is over; continue to share with me your joy and sorrows but probably these are not what you want?

Am i really focusing on the wrong things, holding on to things that I shouldn't and neglected the rest? I do feel that I am. But it's really hard to move on when you became so attached to certain things. For example, I'm so used to seeing them every week but now it may not be the case and I would feel a sudden lost, like something is missing from my life. I know they are still there; In fact it's pretty different from UIP and ULP whereby the cadets will go back to their units and so called lead their own lives till we meet again.

It's time to sit down and really think about what you want in life. Is everything that you are doing now what you wanted? I really don't know. Losing my sense of direction. Thinking is not enough, you have to take actions.

Questioning the amount of passion I have left. Is it still burning hot? Or am I just joining everything and making myself so busy just because I am escaping from other things? If that is the case, it definitely defeats the whole purpose. I would rather leave and find back the things that I've lost throughout this journey.

Whenever I feel unhappy about things especially RC related, I would remind myself of them. They are my source of motivation.

But I don't know how far can they push me to go beyond my limits.
I don't know how long can they be there for me to spur me on.
But well, at least for now, they are still my source of motivation and I would actually do certain things just because of them.

I really hope that I'm aware of what I'm actually doing and enjoy what I am doing cause I don't want to regret and find it all meaningless after that.

1 more day of internship! ENDURE! Chiong final report ah! And I'll have my freedom after that. Well, not quite so...